February 20, 2012

Wife Minus Kids

I received quite a bit of good feedback for the romantic post (In the Mood).  Thank you.  So, here is a quick story of Shannon and I sans kids.

We were looking fine.  We had just attended a marriage counseling course down in Rome, Georgia, called Winshape.  No matter what your relationship is with your spouse, I highly recommend.  It is well worth the trip.  You will gain so much and become a closer, tighter unit.

We now had one more night in Georgia, and we decided to dress up and go out on the town in Atlanta.  I was looking handsome in something handsome (that's not really important).  Shannon was decked out to the nines.  (I don't know what that means, but it sounds classy.)  And she was classy.  Make-up done perfectly.  Hair, the way she likes it, because when you have kids a mother has very little time for herself.  Kids try to make every parent look like a homeless person.
Must go bald!

Shannon was wearing a beautiful outfit with high heels.  Remember that.  She was also carrying a small purse.  Small is the key word in the last sentence, again, when you are a mother of  little children, small purses become obsolete.   She was free of the kids and in no way needed to carry around our lives on her shoulder.  How are you going to carry tissues, ear muffs, crayons, flare guns, socks, make-up, combs, brushes, hair clips, and more with a small purse?  You can't.
Things for a trip to the park.

But that night, the purse contained just the essentials, just keys, make-up, brush, lipsticks, and some money.

Trying to be a sexy mom is tough...you have no time for yourself and you become a slave to the needs of those little vultures.  I love our kids.  Shannon loves our kids.  But, sometimes parents need a time-out...and that brings us back to this short story, which is getting longer by the second.

We picked the Hard Rock Cafe, because that is totally my style.

There was a small wait in the foyer, but while we waited there were huge pictures of Hendrix and Lennon, along with their guitars.  The music was rocking and the floors were wooden.  Wooden floors, another important key.  Those floors looked newly waxed.
This is a picture of high heels on wood.

Did you see where this is going, Stevie Wonder?

I was looking up at some rock and roll artifact, when I heard the thud of a body hitting the floor and having to duck from being struck from the small purse flying over my head.  A loud gasp echoed through the Hard Rock. There the purse was in front of me...Shannon's.  So, now I knew who the thud belonged too.

I peered out of the side of my eye and there was my beauty, laying face first on the floor of the Hard Rock.  She had attempted to slide, like Pete Rose, for some reason.  She was "safe!"
Actual picture of Shannon.

I did what any loving husband would do...I thought...do I pretend not to know her?  Or be oblivious, I am good at that.  But, in the end, I helped her.  She was still beautiful, but her cheeks didn't need any blush.  She was okay, just embarrassed, and rightly so...she had just wiped out in front of a crowded restaurant.  But, I still love her.

I know this makes me sound like a real creep...but, it's all in fun.  Right?

So, I always try to teach a lesson.  So, today's lesson, children: Do not go out to dinner with Shannon, if she is wearing high heels.

Bill, the one who didn't fall that time.